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MATHS by Chelsea O'Brien

Sarah: Professor. Wife. Unhappy.

An Email to My Dearest Husband.

Subject: 1+1= Never

Dear Charles,

It has come to my attention that something is not quite right. All those business trips? All those phone calls? All those midnight dog walks that take hours? We don’t even have a dog Charles. For someone with a doctorate in mathematics my dear, you really aren’t so subtle.

As per your last point; “If an equation wouldn’t work without there being infinite number of universes then there really must be an infinite number of universes”. Thank-you for suggesting such an exhilarating idea my dearest! A new thesis has sprung to mind; in this “infinite number of universes” there really must be one universe that exists where you cheat on me, Charles. And you know what, Charles?! I propose that said universe is this said reality.

I know that we all evolve as creatures to perceive different realities at different stages, i.e. a dog can’t know of or understand time (yes, Charles that was a stab at your five hour long “walks”, THAT is what being subtle is!). So, IT IS POSSIBLE that you haven’t evolved out of your primitive paleolithic form yet and maybe you don’t understand that sleeping with your wife’s best friend isn’t “progressing the species” but rather, a douchbaggery thing to do.

However, I am willing to overlook these transgressions if you could just (for once!) keep your mouth shut at dinner with them this evening!

Food for thought.

Your Loving Wife,

Sarah x

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